Right

I miss these days.
Kind of.

I eat ice cubes until I’m freezing cold.

At this rate I should have my teeth down to nubs by the time I’m forty.

I’ve had an alright week.
MONDAY was the BEST.
NOT ONLY did I have two lunches*…
I ALSO GOT TO SEE RELIENT K

*Why, on God’s green earth, would the Decatur City School system and/or the lunch ladies** do such a thing?
To serve C-nuggs and TSSWTGOI (That Steak Stuff With The Gravy On It)
ON THE SAME DAY
(THE ONLY things I passionately desire in our lunch room, ever.) .
I’ve heard all my life: “If you can’t pick one, get both.”
So I did as I’ve been told

**I shouldn’t say “ladies” ‘cause I’ve seen a homeboy back there workin’, just one.
And I bet he loves being called a “lunch lady”

Relient K was so spur of the moment I didn’t even have time to mentally prepare for the awesomeness that was about to happen.
I went to OCTANE (a very awesome youth group thing on Monday nights at my church) and someone started talking about a free Relient K show at Bridge Street.
So, you know, I sss-krate up went.
I touched his hand.
I touched Matt Thiessen’s hand.
The hand that wrote the words to the songs that have sang me to sleep for the past 6 years of my life.***

***I like to pride myself in not being the typical teenage girl
1) I don’t like chocolate that much
2) I never blame it on PMS
3) I don’t buy magazines and lay on my bed waiting for boys to call (HAH!)
(I am the typical teenage girl, just not anything like the ones in movies, no one ever is)

BUT I did have a typical teenage girl break down when Matt Thiessen was less than 10 feet from me.
Almost crying, squeezing my friends arm (Thank you Cachet, once more), and screaming… the whole nine yards.
It was beautiful.


The rest of the week cannot compare.

I didn’t have school today, which was nice.
(Happy Veterans Day)
I just spent the day sleeping, cleaning, and writing a Research Paper. (e’ry-ting any kid would want to do on their day off)
And then I went to church, which was good. As always.

I love how I always write about my days, or my distaste for my mother here.
My days are lame, and my mother lamer.

So bless your souls for reading this.

And… until next time…____________ (insert something witty here).

Therapy

"I never thought I'd be driving through the country just to drive
With only music and the clothes that I woke up in
I never thought I'd need all this time alone it goes to show
I had so much yet
I had need for nothing
But you

This is just therapy
Let's call it what it is (Not what we were)
With a death-grip on this life always transitioning
This is just therapy
Cause you won't take my calls and that makes God the only one who's left here listening to me

Letting it all sink in
It's good to feel a sting now and again
I hope it's one less woeful thing there is to fight through
Forgetting it all begin
Fresh paper and nice expensive pen
The past can not subtract a thing from what I might do
For you

Unless that's what I let it do
Loneliness and solitude are two things not to get confused
Cause I spend my solitude with you
I gather all the questions of the things I just can't get straight
And I answer them the way I guess you'd do
Cause this is my therapy
Cause you're the only one that's listening to me

This is my therapy
Let's call it what it is not what we were
With a death-grip on this life that's in transition
This is my therapy
Cause you won't hear me out and that makes God the only one who's left here listening"

BG is my only friend

She gives me trouble from time to time, but nothing like this.




What was previously said here was so dumb it had to be deleted.

The Office

is SO FUNNY.

Justifying spelling mistakes.

Kourtknee pm [8:59 PM]: check out my comment...
justinedotkom [8:59 PM]: LAWWWLZZ
Kourtknee pm [8:59 PM]: hahaha
Kourtknee pm [8:59 PM]: kicked kev's ass
justinedotkom [8:59 PM]: 'ats muh boy
justinedotkom [9:00 PM]: i just commented
justinedotkom [9:00 PM]: wow you just upped someone on spelling. GO COURTNEY
Kourtknee pm [9:00 PM]: I KNOW!
Kourtknee pm [9:01 PM]: I love that feeling... is this what it feels like for you every time I spell something wrong?
Kourtknee pm [9:01 PM]: It's empowering.
justinedotkom [9:01 PM]: no, the feeling for me has died down quite a bit considering it comes often. no offense.
Kourtknee pm [9:01 PM]: hah, none taken
Kourtknee pm [9:02 PM]: it's okay if you know you can't spell, isn't it?
justinedotkom [9:02 PM]: yeah, and you take certain actions to make sure you're spelling things right when available.
Kourtknee pm [9:02 PM]: yes, I do
Kourtknee pm [9:02 PM]: I'm not careless about it
Kourtknee pm [9:03 PM]: And I've got your and you're down pretty good... unless i'm in a hurry justinedotkom [9:03 PM]: and you usually know when you misspell something.
Kourtknee pm [9:03 PM]: yessir
justinedotkom [9:03 PM]: people make mistakes.
justinedotkom [9:03 PM]: id say youre straight.
Kourtknee pm [9:03 PM]: it happens
Kourtknee pm [9:03 PM]: Well, thank you
justinedotkom [9:03 PM]: and you got your there, their, and they'res down, right?
Kourtknee pm [9:03 PM]: sho do
justinedotkom [9:03 PM]: you're set for life then.
Kourtknee pm [9:05 PM]: I feel set.
justinedotkom [9:05 PM]: no worries.
Kourtknee pm [9:05 PM]: Outback
justinedotkom [9:05 PM]: steakhouse

I've been convincing myself that I'm worthwhile...

'Cause I'm worth what I'll convince myself to be."


I am less than 2 feet from my mother.
And I have never felt so far from her in my life.
I wish I could be physically as far away from her as I feel mentally.

This is not healthy.

I just want to move far far far far far far far far far far far away from here.