I’ve concluded through my years of living and observation…
That things in my life happen in a way different order or fashion than the norm.
And I’m totally cool with that.
I doubt I would be the person I am today if it wasn’t for that fact.
Everything in my life thus far has been relatively normal, but always slightly off.
Socially acceptable, but not like… how I’ve watched other people’s lives play out.
At times it bothered me through the years.
But I’m way past the point of even noticing it.
I’m just accustomed to it.
I’m not saying I’m weird, or my life has always been weird.
My life and I have just never quite functioned the way I perceived other people’s lives.
Maybe I’m wayyyy off.
It wouldn’t be the first time.
Maybe everyone feels this way.
I’m sure I’m not alone, I never have been.
I’m pretty content right now with my decisions and my plan.
Maybe content isn’t the right word…
I’m confident and have faith that even with the oddness of the way things have been it’ll all work out for the good.
With just a little bit of obedience on my part.
... Make that a lot of obedience.
But that's how most things are in life.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Just livin
I’ve concluded through my years of living and observation…
That things in my life happen in a way different order or fashion than the norm.
And I’m totally cool with that.
I doubt I would be the person I am today if it wasn’t for that fact.
Everything in my life thus far has been relatively normal, but always slightly off.
Socially acceptable, but not like… how I’ve watched other people’s lives play out.
At times it bothered me through the years.
But I’m way past the point of even noticing it.
I’m just accustomed to it.
I’m not saying I’m weird, or my life has always been weird.
My life and I have just never quite functioned the way I perceived other people’s lives.
Maybe I’m wayyyy off.
It wouldn’t be the first time.
Maybe everyone feels this way.
I’m sure I’m not alone, I never have been.
I’m pretty content right now with my decisions and my plan.
Maybe content isn’t the right word…
I’m confident and have faith that even with the oddness of the way things have been it’ll all work out for the good.
With just a little bit of obedience on my part.
That things in my life happen in a way different order or fashion than the norm.
And I’m totally cool with that.
I doubt I would be the person I am today if it wasn’t for that fact.
Everything in my life thus far has been relatively normal, but always slightly off.
Socially acceptable, but not like… how I’ve watched other people’s lives play out.
At times it bothered me through the years.
But I’m way past the point of even noticing it.
I’m just accustomed to it.
I’m not saying I’m weird, or my life has always been weird.
My life and I have just never quite functioned the way I perceived other people’s lives.
Maybe I’m wayyyy off.
It wouldn’t be the first time.
Maybe everyone feels this way.
I’m sure I’m not alone, I never have been.
I’m pretty content right now with my decisions and my plan.
Maybe content isn’t the right word…
I’m confident and have faith that even with the oddness of the way things have been it’ll all work out for the good.
With just a little bit of obedience on my part.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
My mom just said she has the munchies.
It is so good.
I just, I'm great.
and BEAUTIFUL.
(you guys crack me UP.)
ah-HA!
enough of my time has been wasted.
I'm just trying to make it through the weekend.
:D
Is this a dagger which I see before me,
The handle toward my had? Come, let me clutch thee.
What's done is done.
I just, I'm great.
and BEAUTIFUL.
(you guys crack me UP.)
ah-HA!
enough of my time has been wasted.
I'm just trying to make it through the weekend.
:D
Is this a dagger which I see before me,
The handle toward my had? Come, let me clutch thee.
What's done is done.
Monday, December 7, 2009
I haven’t
been/felt like myself for the past 2 years or so.
And these past few nights have brought me back.
There was an aspect of my life I’d been ignoring for numerous reasons.
One was simply influence by the wrong people (although all of us like to say people don’t influence us, they do.)
I’m proud to be back.
It wont be easy, but not much in my life has been thus far.
I’ve got someone to help me out again.
And I am so thankful.
I don't want to sink down again.
Even if I have to go it "alone"...
And these past few nights have brought me back.
There was an aspect of my life I’d been ignoring for numerous reasons.
One was simply influence by the wrong people (although all of us like to say people don’t influence us, they do.)
I’m proud to be back.
It wont be easy, but not much in my life has been thus far.
I’ve got someone to help me out again.
And I am so thankful.
I don't want to sink down again.
Even if I have to go it "alone"...
Sunday, December 6, 2009
There is nothing...
like the feeling I'm feeling now.
God is so good.
I honestly do not care how lame that sounds.
I've just had one of the best nights of my life, and have many more to come.
I just want to document this.
:D
God is so good.
I honestly do not care how lame that sounds.
I've just had one of the best nights of my life, and have many more to come.
I just want to document this.
:D
Saturday, December 5, 2009
I’ve made a mistake,
by sitting the chocolate covered almonds near the computer chair.
I’m listening to my new Essential 80’s CD [I just got it from the good ol’ Wal-Mart (also a mistake)].
I’ve come to the conclusion that I am more creative in the spring.
I think I need more time for the misery to sink in before I have more creative things to say and more creative things to create (hah!).
I think I still hang on to the beauty of summer until like after Christmas break.
There is some quote in Little Miss Sunshine that Steve Carell says... I can’t fully remember, but its basically explains that this dude enjoyed or liked his miserable times because when he’s miserable he sees more about stuff or whatever.
And I love that quote, hold tight while I search for it.
(20 minutes later) HERE!
Dwayne : I wish I could just sleep until I was eighteen and skip all this crap-high school and everything-just skip it.
Frank: Do you know who Marcel Proust is?
Dwayne: He's the guy you teach.
Frank: Yeah. French writer. Total loser. Never had a real job. Unrequited love affairs. Gay. Spent 20 years writing a book almost no one reads. But he's also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare. Anyway, he uh... he gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, Those were the best years of his life, 'cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn't learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you're 18... Ah, think of the suffering you're gonna miss. I mean high school? High school-those are your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than that.
Not exactly how I remember it sticking with me, but hey, isn’t that how most things are in life?
Little Miss Sunshine is so good.
Come back in the spring time months, and I’ll have more interesting things to say.
"There is always something there to remind me."
I’m listening to my new Essential 80’s CD [I just got it from the good ol’ Wal-Mart (also a mistake)].
I’ve come to the conclusion that I am more creative in the spring.
I think I need more time for the misery to sink in before I have more creative things to say and more creative things to create (hah!).
I think I still hang on to the beauty of summer until like after Christmas break.
There is some quote in Little Miss Sunshine that Steve Carell says... I can’t fully remember, but its basically explains that this dude enjoyed or liked his miserable times because when he’s miserable he sees more about stuff or whatever.
And I love that quote, hold tight while I search for it.
(20 minutes later) HERE!
Dwayne : I wish I could just sleep until I was eighteen and skip all this crap-high school and everything-just skip it.
Frank: Do you know who Marcel Proust is?
Dwayne: He's the guy you teach.
Frank: Yeah. French writer. Total loser. Never had a real job. Unrequited love affairs. Gay. Spent 20 years writing a book almost no one reads. But he's also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare. Anyway, he uh... he gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, Those were the best years of his life, 'cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn't learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you're 18... Ah, think of the suffering you're gonna miss. I mean high school? High school-those are your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than that.
Not exactly how I remember it sticking with me, but hey, isn’t that how most things are in life?
Little Miss Sunshine is so good.
Come back in the spring time months, and I’ll have more interesting things to say.
"There is always something there to remind me."
Friday, December 4, 2009
Not gonna lie.
One day I hope to be as cool as Justine.
[THESE ARE PATHETIC (my lists)]
10 Things I Hate About Myself (and my life situations):
1) That I actually feel the need to make a list of ten things I hate about myself.
2) That I do not fittingly think on my feet, at times.
3) I get too caught up in all that nonsense and gobbledygook of the people around me.
4) I’m using Microsoft Works Word Processor to spell check this.
6) The fact that I feel as though I come across to people as, shallow, unconfident, self-doubting, and insecure, at times. When I do not actually feel that way at all.
7) I can never correctly convey what I mean.
8) My awkward social interactions.
9) My lack of self-control when it comes to food.
10) I feel completely misunderstood, 99.99% of my time spent in consciousness.
10 Things I Like About Myself:
1) I make myself laugh, a lot.
2) I’m organized
3) I try, from time to time.
4) I will never have to perm my hair.
5) I don’t have a problem acting like an idiot to a certain extent. (that can be a bad thing)
6) I don’t take candy from strangers.
7) I don’t have a problem being alone.
8) I can drive.
9) Even though it is a struggle, I’ve searched for 10 things I like about myself.
10) I’ve been told I make people laugh from time to time.
I do not hate myself.
I am completely content in who I am... when I’m not being stupid.
I just tend to be stupid a lot.
I also tend to not know what I want a lot.
I guess all this wasted time and confusion is just a part of the Courtney Bundle.
"I never really gave up on getting out of this two star town."
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
return to me
I am not complaining.
I just miss this automobile, and the times spent in it like no other.
Don't call me a spoiled brat, I loved that jeep.
It was like a pet or something, dang.
I'm strange, don't worry about it.
(most of the time when people call themselves strange/weird, they're not.)
I'm freezing.
I skrate up
copied and pasted this:
The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today, Is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, Then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable. This is so true. I whole heartedly apologize to the people who were affected negatively by my hypocrisy.
The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today, Is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, Then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable. This is so true. I whole heartedly apologize to the people who were affected negatively by my hypocrisy.
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