Just Livin' The Life

I’ve concluded through my years of living and observation…
That things in my life happen in a way different order or fashion than the norm.
And I’m totally cool with that.

I doubt I would be the person I am today if it wasn’t for that fact.

Everything in my life thus far has been relatively normal, but always slightly off.
Socially acceptable, but not like… how I’ve watched other people’s lives play out.

At times it bothered me through the years.
But I’m way past the point of even noticing it.

I’m just accustomed to it.

I’m not saying I’m weird, or my life has always been weird.

My life and I have just never quite functioned the way I perceived other people’s lives.

Maybe I’m wayyyy off.
It wouldn’t be the first time.
Maybe everyone feels this way.
I’m sure I’m not alone, I never have been.


I’m pretty content right now with my decisions and my plan.
Maybe content isn’t the right word…
I’m confident and have faith that even with the oddness of the way things have been it’ll all work out for the good.

With just a little bit of obedience on my part.

... Make that a lot of obedience.

But that's how most things are in life.

Just livin

I’ve concluded through my years of living and observation…
That things in my life happen in a way different order or fashion than the norm.
And I’m totally cool with that.

I doubt I would be the person I am today if it wasn’t for that fact.

Everything in my life thus far has been relatively normal, but always slightly off.
Socially acceptable, but not like… how I’ve watched other people’s lives play out.

At times it bothered me through the years.
But I’m way past the point of even noticing it.

I’m just accustomed to it.

I’m not saying I’m weird, or my life has always been weird.

My life and I have just never quite functioned the way I perceived other people’s lives.

Maybe I’m wayyyy off.
It wouldn’t be the first time.
Maybe everyone feels this way.
I’m sure I’m not alone, I never have been.


I’m pretty content right now with my decisions and my plan.
Maybe content isn’t the right word…
I’m confident and have faith that even with the oddness of the way things have been it’ll all work out for the good.

With just a little bit of obedience on my part.

I don't know...

I'm all good.

My mom just said she has the munchies.

It is so good.

I just, I'm great.

and BEAUTIFUL.
(you guys crack me UP.)

ah-HA!


enough of my time has been wasted.
I'm just trying to make it through the weekend.

:D

Is this a dagger which I see before me,
The handle toward my had? Come, let me clutch thee.

What's done is done.

I haven’t

been/felt like myself for the past 2 years or so.
And these past few nights have brought me back.
There was an aspect of my life I’d been ignoring for numerous reasons.
One was simply influence by the wrong people (although all of us like to say people don’t influence us, they do.)


I’m proud to be back.
It wont be easy, but not much in my life has been thus far.
I’ve got someone to help me out again.
And I am so thankful.

I don't want to sink down again.
Even if I have to go it "alone"...

There is nothing...

like the feeling I'm feeling now.


God is so good.
I honestly do not care how lame that sounds.
I've just had one of the best nights of my life, and have many more to come.


I just want to document this.

:D

I’ve made a mistake,

by sitting the chocolate covered almonds near the computer chair.


I’m listening to my new Essential 80’s CD [I just got it from the good ol’ Wal-Mart (also a mistake)].


I’ve come to the conclusion that I am more creative in the spring.
I think I need more time for the misery to sink in before I have more creative things to say and more creative things to create (hah!).
I think I still hang on to the beauty of summer until like after Christmas break.

There is some quote in Little Miss Sunshine that Steve Carell says... I can’t fully remember, but its basically explains that this dude enjoyed or liked his miserable times because when he’s miserable he sees more about stuff or whatever.
And I love that quote, hold tight while I search for it.

(20 minutes later) HERE!

Dwayne : I wish I could just sleep until I was eighteen and skip all this crap-high school and everything-just skip it.
Frank: Do you know who Marcel Proust is?
Dwayne: He's the guy you teach.
Frank: Yeah. French writer. Total loser. Never had a real job. Unrequited love affairs. Gay. Spent 20 years writing a book almost no one reads. But he's also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare. Anyway, he uh... he gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, Those were the best years of his life, 'cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn't learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you're 18... Ah, think of the suffering you're gonna miss. I mean high school? High school-those are your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than that.



Not exactly how I remember it sticking with me, but hey, isn’t that how most things are in life?
Little Miss Sunshine is so good.



Come back in the spring time months, and I’ll have more interesting things to say.


"There is always something there to remind me."

Not gonna lie.

One day I hope to be as cool as Justine.



[THESE ARE PATHETIC (my lists)]

10 Things I Hate About Myself (and my life situations):
1) That I actually feel the need to make a list of ten things I hate about myself.
2) That I do not fittingly think on my feet, at times.
3) I get too caught up in all that nonsense and gobbledygook of the people around me.
4) I’m using Microsoft Works Word Processor to spell check this.
6) The fact that I feel as though I come across to people as, shallow, unconfident, self-doubting, and insecure, at times. When I do not actually feel that way at all.
7) I can never correctly convey what I mean.
8) My awkward social interactions.
9) My lack of self-control when it comes to food.
10) I feel completely misunderstood, 99.99% of my time spent in consciousness.

10 Things I Like About Myself:
1) I make myself laugh, a lot.
2) I’m organized
3) I try, from time to time.
4) I will never have to perm my hair.
5) I don’t have a problem acting like an idiot to a certain extent. (that can be a bad thing)
6) I don’t take candy from strangers.
7) I don’t have a problem being alone.
8) I can drive.
9) Even though it is a struggle, I’ve searched for 10 things I like about myself.
10) I’ve been told I make people laugh from time to time.



I do not hate myself.
I am completely content in who I am... when I’m not being stupid.
I just tend to be stupid a lot.
I also tend to not know what I want a lot.
I guess all this wasted time and confusion is just a part of the Courtney Bundle.


"I never really gave up on getting out of this two star town."

return to me

I am not complaining.
I just miss this automobile, and the times spent in it like no other.
Don't call me a spoiled brat, I loved that jeep.
It was like a pet or something, dang.


I'm strange, don't worry about it.


(most of the time when people call themselves strange/weird, they're not.)

I'm freezing.

I skrate up

copied and pasted this:


The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today, Is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, Then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable. This is so true. I whole heartedly apologize to the people who were affected negatively by my hypocrisy.

I am normally not one to favor a season...

but, dang, I miss summer.
(all of them...)

I haven’t applied to college, but…

My senior research paper is done...

I feel like I could crap my pants and still smile.
I am so relieved. (nasstttyyyy)
ah-HA!

I can enjoy my last day of thanksgiving break, thank you Holy Lord.

I am so great right now.
My research paper is done.
:D




So long and good day.

aight

I'm alright.

yeah, yeah, we don't have to talk about it.

When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?
E’ry day I attend Austin High School.


Ever receive a really long apology?
Not that I can think of.

Will tomorrow be a good day?
I do believe so.

Do you put ketchup on top of your french fries or on the side?
I really don’t have that great of a relationship with ketchup.

How many tattoos would you like to have?
Eh, one. Or none. I don’t know.

What is annoying you right now?
My mother, as always.

Do you laugh a lot?
I try to.

What are you listening to at the moment?
The Mentalist.

When was the last time you cried?
I don’t remember.

Have you, in any way, been betrayed by someone you trusted?
Hah.

Lets say you had a baby with the last person you kissed?
ah-HA!

Do you still talk to the last person you kissed?
Not much to talk about.

Is there anyone who doesn't like you?
I wouldn’t be surprised.

Whos the last 4 received calls on your phone from?
Sandra Dee, Sarah Kirby, Justine Sullivan, Tre’ Cole.

What were you doing at 7:00 AM?
Waking up.

Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?
Yeah.

Is love really worth fighting for?
Sure.

I bet you miss somebody right now?
I bet.

Do you fix the spaces on surveys?
I dunno.

Who's clothes are you wearing?
Mine, and my dad’s old sweat shirt.

Do you think the last person you kissed cares for you?
Eh.

Where were you at 4 this morning?
Snoozin’

Next time you will kiss someone?
Hah.

Have you broken the law in the last 3 days?
Speeding, that’s right, I’m a rebel.

Who have you texted today?
Justine, Andrea, Jessica, Lauren, Robert, Clark, Twitter.

Who were you last on the phone with?
My mom. (EFFFF!)

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
Nah, not anymore really.

Do you know anyone that smokes weed?
Sure.

What color underwear are you wearing?
Pink and black.

What if your boyfriend/girlfriend went through your cellphone?
They would be incredibly bored.

Recently kissed anyone with the name starting with a L?
nope.

Is your #1 single?
I don’t know.

Have you kissed anyone on your top?
Nope.

Is your #2 single?
Yup.

What were you doing before you came home recently?
Going to buy milk at Walgreens.

How can I win your heart?
I’ll let you know when I know.

Did you have a nap yesterday?
I don’t remember. My days blur together.

What do you wear more : jeans or sweats ?
Jeans.

Will this Friday be a good one?
Any day that is not proceeded by a school day is a good day.

Have you ever had a best friend of the opposite sex?
Yeah

Did you sleep alone last night?
Yeah.

Can you fit into your best friend's shoes?
Nope. I’m a big foot.

If you could change your eye color, what would it be?
I don’t think I would, but maybe green?

Do you ever wonder how other people see you?
Eh, I doubt I would be human if I didn’t.

Could you go out in public looking like you do now?
Yeah, just did.
Did you take this survey from Jessica?
SHOOOO DID.

I find myself forgetting what day of the week is

We were so much cooler when we were young.
It feels like things were simpler then,

but I’m sure at the time I wouldn’t have agreed.

One day I'll feel as though now is simple.
Well, it is simple now, just people tend to… make it not so simple haha.

I am incredibly stuffed..
My mom made apple pie. It. Was. So. Good.
I can like literally fill the excess food sitting in my throat.
Why do I eat so much?


I’m ready for Friday
(I’m a weekend warrior)
And… I do believe Roblark* will be here

*Roblark: Robert and Clark (good friends who have abandoned the hell-hole that is Decatur, Alabama and moved on to more pleasant ways of living, known as college.)
(Lucky)


I’m ready for fun, and carefree roaming.




I febreze every chance I get. (spring and renewal)

Due to my mothers (not so)recent taking up of smoking the house stinks even more.
She doesn’t smoke in the house, she smokes in the garage.
The thin wall and doorway however do not do a sufficient job of blocking out the horrid stench of cigarette smoke and nasty garage.

I want a house with decorations (not involving 20 different flower prints) with color on the walls and high speed internet. And… it would also be awesome if the house didn’t reek of smoke.

I’m not complaining, I mean at least I HAVE a house….
But… a few small steps, and TAH-DAH it’d be like brand freakin’ new.

I don't know bout chu,

but I don't know of the troubles you speak of.

My only trouble in life is I never seem to have enough time on my hands.
But all I want is for time to fly.

Lets get to the good part.

I want a laptop, heck, I just want normal internet.
WHY?!
Why me?

I need this thanksgiving break coming up.
LORD knows I need it.

I just want to be free.

I have nothing

intelligent or interesting to say.

I’ve had a great weekend thus far.

It’s all good.

You’ve lost me…

has been the statement of the day.

Right

I miss these days.
Kind of.

I eat ice cubes until I’m freezing cold.

At this rate I should have my teeth down to nubs by the time I’m forty.

I’ve had an alright week.
MONDAY was the BEST.
NOT ONLY did I have two lunches*…
I ALSO GOT TO SEE RELIENT K

*Why, on God’s green earth, would the Decatur City School system and/or the lunch ladies** do such a thing?
To serve C-nuggs and TSSWTGOI (That Steak Stuff With The Gravy On It)
ON THE SAME DAY
(THE ONLY things I passionately desire in our lunch room, ever.) .
I’ve heard all my life: “If you can’t pick one, get both.”
So I did as I’ve been told

**I shouldn’t say “ladies” ‘cause I’ve seen a homeboy back there workin’, just one.
And I bet he loves being called a “lunch lady”

Relient K was so spur of the moment I didn’t even have time to mentally prepare for the awesomeness that was about to happen.
I went to OCTANE (a very awesome youth group thing on Monday nights at my church) and someone started talking about a free Relient K show at Bridge Street.
So, you know, I sss-krate up went.
I touched his hand.
I touched Matt Thiessen’s hand.
The hand that wrote the words to the songs that have sang me to sleep for the past 6 years of my life.***

***I like to pride myself in not being the typical teenage girl
1) I don’t like chocolate that much
2) I never blame it on PMS
3) I don’t buy magazines and lay on my bed waiting for boys to call (HAH!)
(I am the typical teenage girl, just not anything like the ones in movies, no one ever is)

BUT I did have a typical teenage girl break down when Matt Thiessen was less than 10 feet from me.
Almost crying, squeezing my friends arm (Thank you Cachet, once more), and screaming… the whole nine yards.
It was beautiful.


The rest of the week cannot compare.

I didn’t have school today, which was nice.
(Happy Veterans Day)
I just spent the day sleeping, cleaning, and writing a Research Paper. (e’ry-ting any kid would want to do on their day off)
And then I went to church, which was good. As always.

I love how I always write about my days, or my distaste for my mother here.
My days are lame, and my mother lamer.

So bless your souls for reading this.

And… until next time…____________ (insert something witty here).

Therapy

"I never thought I'd be driving through the country just to drive
With only music and the clothes that I woke up in
I never thought I'd need all this time alone it goes to show
I had so much yet
I had need for nothing
But you

This is just therapy
Let's call it what it is (Not what we were)
With a death-grip on this life always transitioning
This is just therapy
Cause you won't take my calls and that makes God the only one who's left here listening to me

Letting it all sink in
It's good to feel a sting now and again
I hope it's one less woeful thing there is to fight through
Forgetting it all begin
Fresh paper and nice expensive pen
The past can not subtract a thing from what I might do
For you

Unless that's what I let it do
Loneliness and solitude are two things not to get confused
Cause I spend my solitude with you
I gather all the questions of the things I just can't get straight
And I answer them the way I guess you'd do
Cause this is my therapy
Cause you're the only one that's listening to me

This is my therapy
Let's call it what it is not what we were
With a death-grip on this life that's in transition
This is my therapy
Cause you won't hear me out and that makes God the only one who's left here listening"

BG is my only friend

She gives me trouble from time to time, but nothing like this.




What was previously said here was so dumb it had to be deleted.

The Office

is SO FUNNY.

Justifying spelling mistakes.

Kourtknee pm [8:59 PM]: check out my comment...
justinedotkom [8:59 PM]: LAWWWLZZ
Kourtknee pm [8:59 PM]: hahaha
Kourtknee pm [8:59 PM]: kicked kev's ass
justinedotkom [8:59 PM]: 'ats muh boy
justinedotkom [9:00 PM]: i just commented
justinedotkom [9:00 PM]: wow you just upped someone on spelling. GO COURTNEY
Kourtknee pm [9:00 PM]: I KNOW!
Kourtknee pm [9:01 PM]: I love that feeling... is this what it feels like for you every time I spell something wrong?
Kourtknee pm [9:01 PM]: It's empowering.
justinedotkom [9:01 PM]: no, the feeling for me has died down quite a bit considering it comes often. no offense.
Kourtknee pm [9:01 PM]: hah, none taken
Kourtknee pm [9:02 PM]: it's okay if you know you can't spell, isn't it?
justinedotkom [9:02 PM]: yeah, and you take certain actions to make sure you're spelling things right when available.
Kourtknee pm [9:02 PM]: yes, I do
Kourtknee pm [9:02 PM]: I'm not careless about it
Kourtknee pm [9:03 PM]: And I've got your and you're down pretty good... unless i'm in a hurry justinedotkom [9:03 PM]: and you usually know when you misspell something.
Kourtknee pm [9:03 PM]: yessir
justinedotkom [9:03 PM]: people make mistakes.
justinedotkom [9:03 PM]: id say youre straight.
Kourtknee pm [9:03 PM]: it happens
Kourtknee pm [9:03 PM]: Well, thank you
justinedotkom [9:03 PM]: and you got your there, their, and they'res down, right?
Kourtknee pm [9:03 PM]: sho do
justinedotkom [9:03 PM]: you're set for life then.
Kourtknee pm [9:05 PM]: I feel set.
justinedotkom [9:05 PM]: no worries.
Kourtknee pm [9:05 PM]: Outback
justinedotkom [9:05 PM]: steakhouse

I've been convincing myself that I'm worthwhile...

'Cause I'm worth what I'll convince myself to be."


I am less than 2 feet from my mother.
And I have never felt so far from her in my life.
I wish I could be physically as far away from her as I feel mentally.

This is not healthy.

I just want to move far far far far far far far far far far far away from here.

And its all rebound in better clothes

Happy (Day After) H-ween!




"Cause if this was our destiny I'd treasure the fact
And I'd give you whats left of me if I'd held back
But I don't need a soul
No I don't need a soul to hold
Without you I'm still whole
You and life remain beautiful"
...
"All options are exhausted all your numbered days are numbered small
I miss you now
I loved you
And I know things could still be worse"


Like I said before, Matt Thiessen is the shizzzzzzzzzz.
YUH!




A special thanks to:
Lauren - for the awesome Halloween getup
All ‘em kids I went trick or treating with - for being so awesome and fun/funny.
Matt Thiessen and the rest of the band - for writing yet another awesome album, that I have been listening to almost nonstop
AND LAST but certainly not least…
Kylie - for being a trooper and hanging out with me in my time of need in Bear *(hell hole) Creek, she is the sibling I‘ve always wanted. It never ceases to amaze me how we always fall right back into place in or friendship every time we see each other (as retarded as that sounds). We could be away from each other for years, and still fall right back into the way its always been. Like sisters I suppose (once more, lame, I know).

*I love Bear Creek from the very bottom of my heart. I do not exactly love all my time spent with my oversized cousin (Baily) . I love the area and my family… but its… complicated haha.
I love the drive there and the drive back.
The scenery is so beautiful, and something about those winding old roads and trees.
I feel like I am more comfortable and content in myself just in that hour drive through the countryside.
My favorite stretch of any road to drive.
And I love quite a few stretches of road.
(Driving around keeps me sane, and annoying members of my life alive)


I feel pretty content right now.
Aside from the unavoidable fact that this feeling is frequently fleeting, I hope it sticks around.


Stop eating the candy, Halloween is over.
That’s all folks.
Kbye.

But I'm the Cusack on the lawn of your heart.

Matt Thiessen is a genius.

He could simply write the nutrition facts of a box of cereal, and I'm sure it would move me to tears.
He is so clever.

So here's to you Matt,
You've kept me going for the past 6 years...

Thank you from the bottom of my Cusack lawned heart ;)

I'm going to miss days like today.

I think I might actually miss high school when it's gone.



(pretend I said something more than this to say, my blogs are so short lately.)





Thank you kindly.
G’night.

Yeah, okay, so...

I notice I complain about my mother a lot here.



MY MOM IS SO ANNOYING!

I am...

not doing my Anatomy worksheets.

They're like trying to do “fill in the blank” in the Webster’s Dictionary.
These worksheets are ungodly.
They make my back pack 10 pounds heavier.


Suck it Anatomy worksheets.
You will not conquer me.



I've been on lock down all weekend, THANKS MOM!
BUT, I did see Paranormal Activity. (DO NOT see this movie)

I'm okay Jesus > Katie.


Goodnight suckers.
kbye

Oh,

and one more thing…..


I’ve noticed time helps/heals a lot of things.
Add a little bit of laughter and you’re set.


(this was SO lame)



“Jesus loves you no matter what”
Simple, but it sticks.

Goodbye, once more.

Aside

from the fact that my mother is pure evil at times....

I'm feeling pretty dang good right now.

A special thanks to:
Tre' Cool
&
Muh Bro (The best backseat dancer ever) (more commonly known as: Justine)


You hold me together,

Goodnight.

Nothing New

EVER.





This is me. This is the story of my life : Getting there late and leaving early.






“When you are young everything feels like the end of the world. When in all actuality it is the beginning.”

I had

a really cool blog idea,
and I have now forgotten it.


I GET TO SLEEP IN MY BED TONIGHT.
Three weeks was too long.
I live for the small things in life.




(remember when I used to type a TON of pointless stuff on these things? Glad those days are over?)
I wish I had more time on my hands.



solong
goodnight

Don't forget you haven't lost it all yet

THE FRAY WAS AWESOME.



I must sleep now.

Wowie wow wow

BLEH

I guess this is over now,

I guess it's called a falling out.


BLAH!
TODAY SUCKED.
Well, kinda.
The part involving my mother sucked.
It’s a bit better now.
Friday was so awesome that maybe it must be canceled out with the suckyness of today.

I have so much to say
"I thought of all the things I’d like to say, cramped up and couldn’t write a word all day.”

this sums it all up.

Put that in your oven and bake it, or shoot me in the face.
Preferably the later of the two.



(All this talk of wanting to be shot is out of pure misery, nothing more. So do not shoot me in the face, give me a hug and a solution to this.)


shoot me in the face

You'll never have to be alone

Happy Labor Day.


bllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


My mother may or may not leave me alone in Decatur for two or more weeks soon.

This should be interesting.

I DON'T WANT TO GO TO HIGH SCHOOL ...
BRING ON THE COLLEGE

Oh, awesome

This is my life:
I’m on the computer, Instant Messaging my best friend (and brother, like I do every night) via my dial up internet.
Shamefully listening to country music I wouldn’t admit to listening to to save my life (well, that’s a lie).
My mother is on the pullout bed behind me sleeping (or reading every word I type)
I just facebook IMed my cousin in the guest pink flowery room who is too involved with World of Warcraft to respond back to my “So, anything more entertaining going on in there” (there are about 57 sexual innuendoes to that question)
All the while I’m sitting on an ottoman that hurts my back because the one ACTUAL computer chair is otherwise occupied by my aunt, who is also here to visit, because she needs it to better mobilize herself with her walker because she slipped and tore her Achilles tendon.
My grandmother who was once married to my schizophrenic grandfather is next to her snoring louder than a dying beached whale.
I’m typing this out on Microsoft word because I make too many spelling errors to type this elsewhere.

This isn’t even half the story.
Also, I’ll most likely put this in a blog...
and going to a family reunion tomorrow.

Not to repeat myself...but... If you have a heart, and the smallest amount of kindness in that heart you'll save me.

I feel like I’m watching the same movie over and over again.

Either my life, and the people in it, are super predictable, or I am telepathic.

It’s not as convenient as it sounds.

It's more like mind numbing.

Honestly, I probably only have myself to blame.

I really hate the local news.

Tonight I got up and spoke/shared with my youth group.
(I realize how lame that sounds, but that basically is what I did and there’s no way to get around the lameness.)
I forgot a few things I wanted to say.
“Uhm” and “basically” were my main words used.

We don’t have school next Monday thanks to good old Labor Day.
BUT lucky old me will most likely not be able to enjoy this three day weekend.
The family is coming.

And when my family comes to town, the nice side of my mother leaves.
She becomes pure evil when they’re here. (She's half way there already. She can feel them coming)
NO MATTER WHAT I DO I WILL PISS HER OFF. ( I have already, doing NOTHING. Doing only what I do any other day.)
Throughout my 17 years I have tired numerous ways of going about my dreaded family visits in hopes of a positive outcome, all of which have ended in failure.
I hope this one will be different.
But that’s …. most likely NOT going to happen.


She morphs into super mom evil woman EVERY SINGLE TIME her family is around.
I don’t mind my family visiting.
I mind my mother being EVIL while they’re here.
And it’s always “HER family” not mine.
Not my family. My family is in Bearcreek.
They’re hers, all hers.
Yet I’m forced to be around them EVERY second they are around.

I CAN’T STAND THIS!


SHE ALSO WONT GET REGULAR INTERNET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



If you have a heart shoot me.

It could always be worse.

....


Or so I tell myself.

There is a whole home made cheesecake in my refrigerator that I am not to eat until Thursday. I don’t know how that's going to work out.

So today wasn’t quite as notably good or bad as yesterday was.
Just eh, another day in the life. (hah)
As usual I woke up late today. I wake up late everyday. I’m always so late waking up from my actual intended time that when I do wake up “late” it’s actually pretty much “on time.”
I hate this about myself, but sleep is too important in the morning. I AM NOT a morning person.
But Yeah, So along with the “waking up late” (later than the actual late) this morning I also had a gift from my cat.
Throw up.
Right in my doorway to my room
So, when every second counts in your morning routine this can be a set back.
So I rushed.
And got ready.
And got in my car.
And did my normal blue car bolt down the Beltline and Westmead .
While rounding the curve on Westmead a fine fellow in black decided to inform me of my speed.
I was “going 36 and climbing on that dip back there, in Decatur all city streets are 30.”
Good to know.
Got off with a warning.
I played the whole “I’m about to pee on myself, I’m sorry officer. I’m ignorant. The state made a mistake when they gave me my license.”
I’ve been pulled over twice in my life.
Both times I act like an ignorant teenage girl. (it’s what I do best)
So I BEAST it to school cause now it is 7:47am and the tarty bell rings at 7:50am (the one that says you should be in class like NOW or you go get a pass and yadayadyada)
So SOMEHOW I made it to Algebra II with about 6 seconds to spare.
I’m never on time, but I always get there.
Anyhow that was the main highlight of my day. (and it will not be the highlight of my mothers, what she doesn’t’ know wont hurt me.)
The rest of the day was pretty bland.
You know, after being chased down by the cops and all.

Came home from school, took an unintended hour nap. I woke up still undressed from my school clothes. I came home stripped down with the intentions of putting on comfy shorts and a t-shirt, but before getting redressed I flopped down on my bed. Only to wake up an hour later freezing with my cat asleep on my belly praying my mother hadn’t come in and seen me in my undergarments looking like a whale.
Watched Everybody Loves Raymond (to wake up a little before cutting the grass)
And then another episode
And then one more
And then Friends (I was awake, just waiting on something to eat)
And then Seinfeld... when my mom suggested pizza.
Got off my butt, ate pizza, cut the grass in the front yard because it was almost dark.
Went to walgreens for my photography project pictures
Came home
Back to walgreens
To Justine’s cause I got her some chocolate covered almonds (she's been sick, I'm her brother (LONG STORY))
Home
Now after a few insignificant things I’m here.


WHY did I just break down my whole day for you?
I honestly don’t know.

Do what you can with that.
Jesus loves you, and I’ll try.
Goodnight.

I miss everything,

that is really still right here.

Always

So today was pretty awesome, about as awesome as a Monday can get. (with a few minor annoyances… like say… school.)
I laughed my face off all day with Andrea, she’s my best friend sometimes.
I was just like, you know (invisible you), having an overall alright day.
Went to the college fair and kicked butt with Momma D (Andrea) and getting college information.
I feel a fraction of a centimeter more comfortable with the whole college idea.
And then Robotics (kick ass) and had a pretty good time.
Drove home in AMAZING weather.
I’m kind of feeling like with time I’ll love this new car.
I mean it already has a special spot in my heart with what a miracle it was to get. I didn’t love it as well as I should have, and at times I still do not. But The Blue Bonnet Bandit (BBB, first be is silent so it’s more of “BB”) is doing alright. We’re bonding. It hasn’t filled the whole Chandler left, but it’s working on it. I wish I had more gas in the thing. If so I’d tear up the streets. Car therapy.

(I am too attached to motorized vehicles, I know. It‘s really not as deep as it sounds.)
(sorry, random car rant.)

But aside from the amazingness, my mom was kind of in a craptastic mood to begin with today.
And when I rolled in from robotics I thought she was pissed cause I was late.
But … She informed me that my grandmother has been diagnosed with cancer. Again. In the other boob.
I’m believing for complete and total healing over my grandmother. You should too. She’s awesome, and although she can annoy me to no end I love her to death. And she’ll be around until the rapture, or so I’ve been saying since I was like 7. Or well, ever since I figured out the rapture was when Jesus came back, hah.


On a lighter note…
I’ve been aching all day and all weekend to get out there and work on my purple gate and windows that are still incomplete. But I’ve got too much on the agenda to do things I enjoy.


This song has been a constant sound in the back of my mind all day. I love it. Even though it pertains to absolutely no part of my life. I have no one to hold. hahaha. But nonetheless it’s a great song.

(it doesn’t sound quite as perverted as the lyrics make it out to be.)

“I've been here before a few times
And I'm quite aware we're dying
And your hands they shake with goodbyes
And I'll take you back if you'd have me
So here I am I'm trying
So here I am are you ready
Come on let me hold you touch you feel you
Always
Kiss you taste you all night
Always
And I'll miss your laugh your smile
I'll admit I'm wrong if you'd tell me
I'm so sick of fights I hate them
Lets start this again for real
So here I am I'm trying
So here I am are you ready
So here I am I'm trying
So here I am are you ready
Come on let me hold you touch you feel you
Always
Kiss you taste you all night
Always
Come on let me hold you touch you feel you
Always
Kiss you taste you all night
Always
I've been here before a few times
And I'm quite aware we're dying
Come on let me hold you touch you feel you
Always
Kiss you taste you all night
Always
Come on let me hold you touch you feel you
Always
Kiss you taste you all night
Always
Always
Always “




Well, all in all I’m okay.
As usual.
I’m usually okay. Gag

See you soon.
So long.
“I’m sick with apprehension”

Oh, right, ello.

So I haven’t blogged in a while.
In the background I can hear the TV, my mom is watching, and it’s on WAFF48 and some guy wished to remain anonymous and they screwed his voice up and blurred his face. I wish to shoot whoever thought it was okay to make his voice sound like that. I’m sure there are about 50 billion different ways they could have distorted his voice, but no they chose the one that makes you die a little inside.

Sorry for the random side note.
So, basically. I’m a senior now.
Pretty spectacular feeling.
I’m only three weeks in to my last year of high school, and I kind of like that feeling.

I’m actually feeling a little excited about life.
Not so much because I am now driving a more fuel efficient car (that I will never love quite as much as I did my large red tank) but we (the new car and I) are getting a little closer with every mutilated baked on bug in the grill. (I’ll blog more about that topic later)
Or the fact that I am at the PEAK of my high school carrier.
Or the fact that I recently overcame the snot sickness that had me begging for air with every uncomfortable position on the couch.

I’m just feeling awesome, for no particular reason.


I guess to be cliché and cheesy (it’s what I do best) I think I’m just happy to be alive :)

So to no one in particular, whoever you may be, reading this.
Be happy.
Love life… and
Just chill out.

That’s about as much cheesiness and clichés I can come up with for now.
So sleep well,
and
goodnight.

Don’t have children,

because one day someone like me will have to watch them.

For some reason unknown my life has been deemed “destined to suck.” Therefore I am sitting at home at 12:13 AM blogging to no-one-in-particular and wanting to be somewhere-in-particular. Somewhere-in-particular being the Harry Potter premier. Ugh.
I'm not a huge Harry Potter nerd ( like Lauren and Justine, who actually made T-shirts for the premier) I just would like to be doing something better than this.


Ugh.
I'd love to say more, but I've got to get to bed.
Early morning tomorrow.
Baby sitting.
BLajgioes;ugjkovmaweiorai;jg89034aqmo g8nvre (anger in type form)

well goodnight.... or morning or afternoon, depends on when you read this I guess hah.


kbye

A work in progress

Today I painted an old gate my mom let me keep purple.
It’s not done.
I’m just… taking my time.
No one sees this thing.
I pointlessly blog.


goodnightkids

A few great words

From a few great women I know.



"Yeah, well it comes as no surprise that I screwed that one up.”
“The important thing is that you recovered.”



“Anyone can die. It takes someone with guts to live.”

Ugh

Aaron, Andrea, and myself in the summer of '06

Aaron, Andrea, and myself in the summer of '09













Three years, a major change.
I miss the three of us.
Ughhhh.
It sucks every year more and more.

Today,

Is my birthday.
And about 3 hours ago I was ready to kill all of my friends. (not including my brother)
Immaturity at it’s finest. I don’t really want to talk about it.
I just pray the rest of the day isn’t like “yesterday” was.

But…
AARON IS HERE!!!!!!
Once a year my friend from Louisianna comes up and chills and most of the time it’s right at my birthday.
so.awesome.
And it's kind of a let down that for the past three years andrea and aaron call me at exactly midnight on my birthday… and they were late this year.
I’ll make it somehow.

Well wish me luck.

So long and goodnight

(“yesterday” didn’t totally suck. Just the part where we we’re being hunted by our so called friends. Oh and seeing Aaron for the first time in a year was pretty great too.)



I love the thrill of the chase

IT COULD NOT

GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS.


On the line up for this month:
Fun miniroad trip to Philcapmbell Alabama with Justine (tomorrow)
AMAZINGNESS
BI Graduation (sunday)
NASHVILLE (one WHOLE WEEK with Justine, Paula, and Mom.) (15th-19th)
NASHVILLE (the next WHOLE WEEK with Lauren) (20something - 20something)
MY BIRTHDAY (June 30)





EPIC



kbye

drama drama drama

Let's live without it people.
Come on.
Just chill ooooouuuuuuttttttttt.





kbye

I want to go there

this time I'm not scared.







(I'd like to know just as much as you would.)
kbye

Every time I burp

I get the taste of that honey tea in my throat.

So ladies and gentlemen the time we have all been waiting for is soon to arrive.
There is approximately 3 half days left of school, all of which consisting of exams.
The lowest I can make on my chemistry exam and still pass the semester is a 31, and she scales it 10 points.
That alone proves there is a god. Hah.
So basically all I have to make is a 21 to pass, and I think I can do a bit better than that, maybe.


We (Justine, Andrea, Jessica, Garrett, and Stephanie) have concluded that Jessica’s back porch is the new “hang out.” It’s nice out there. There is also hot tea, pasta salad, and a cat with thumbs. I like it very much.

I don’t really have anything significant to talk about, but when do I ever?
I guess I shall leave you with this.
I’m planning on running in the morning, and somehow I think sleep might be needed for that, hah.
Well, so long and goodnight.
kbye

Do you ever have one of those days…

When it suddenly hits you that all you’ve done with your life is NOTHING.
That you THOUGHT you were okay with life.
But you were just kidding youself.




I’m not sitting still anymore.

Lets not talk about it

"I wish there were words,
I wish there were ways,
I wish I cold just express how I feel exactly.
I wish I could show you
tell you
how I am
how I feel
I wish I didn’t sound so absurd.
I wish the meanings would
could
flow endlessly.
I wish I knew how.
I wish I knew when.
I wish I didn’t need to wish.
I wish I had something more to wish for.
Oh, but wishing gets me nowhere.
It gets me sitting alone writing in a lousy note book,
about lousy wishes."





" I want to be better,
but when will I be good the way I am?
When can I take a break from self improvement, and just be myself?
And let myself be good.



Oh, and never."

People are idiots.

Spend as little amount of time with them as you can.

And....

I just want to feel the FUGGIN’ cool waters.

Can't say I didn't see that one coming.

So, today was great. In one of those “the world feels right” kind of ways. Just the simplicity of music, sunshine, and the wind in your face kind of thing.
I got up about 10 and got “ready” and went to the tanning bed (which I would have totally given up on if I hadn’t spent 40 plus dollars on the stupid ordeal (curse you prom)) came home finished getting ready. Lifted a beast mode carpet cleaner into the back of my jeep, ate a sandwich and drove to Hartselle. Got there a little before noon. Cleaned Betty’s house and carpet until about… I don’t know… five, she threw in a free meal too. Got fifty bucks, not to shabby. And then drove home in the amazing weather.
All I ask of life anymore is free time to drive around, or be alone. I’m retarded. I enjoy aloneness too much.
People are just so…. annoying.
All people, myself included. We’re never happy.
I just enjoy not having to explain myself to everyone. ‘Cause God forbid I’m ever understood, by anyone including myself. And people’s feelings are so dang tender, can’t do anything these days without sending someone home crying.
(I’m sure not ALL people are like this, just the ones I spend most of my time around.)
Anyhow. Came home from my amazing drive home and got a shower. Had plans to meet hang out with some people….and….

That’s when the shit hit the fan.

I don’t even really know the details leading up to all this; but because of the exceedingly abundant amount of time I spend with the persons involved I feel as though I have a slight clue on how it all went down.

Basically (just to sum this up)
people got their feelings hurt.
A lot.
And I said something, hurting more feelings and making matters worse.
So I left.
And intended to go home.
But didn’t feel like it and I started driving toward Trinity.
Then turned around, and went in the totally opposite direction toward Priceville.
And ended up letting my more dramatic emo kid side out.
So I went to the cemetery my dad is buried in.
I think it’s been about three or four years since the last time I was there, and well I felt it time to pay a visit. (plus, not many people are there, well living ones, and no one would look for me there.) I felt like such a crap face cause I spent a good five minuets trying to find/remember where he was placed in the cemetery. It was pathetic. So if someone was watching from a far, a large, very noisy, jeep pulls in a dark cemetery (which I found out later it is illegal to be in a cemetery after dark (I don’t get out much)) and an awkward figured girl with large curly hair walks out and wonders around with her cell phone lighting her way wearing an Obama and Martin Luther King t-shirt.

Then later met up with Justine and Garrett at the river.
And we just chilled.
And someone may or may not have been proposed to on the docks.
We weren’t sure. I really want to find out.
Went to taco hell and found out that one of the workers there has an amazing taste in music, went to my house and the three of us hung out on my rarely used trampoline until about midnight when Garrett had to go home.
Then I came inside, and well. Started telling the blogger world about my lame day.




I lead such an exciting and nice life. Don’t envy me too much.

well this is all for now.
kbye

What I wouldn’t do...

for a stranger.
For someone new who didn’t have preconceived and wrong ideas of me or my thoughts.
For something new in this town.
Not the same old crap repeating itself over and over and over and over again.

Lets spice it up a bit people, maybe try a new route of idiocy. Something, anything to make this very repetitive life a BIT more exciting. Really.




I’m going to go watch Kung Fu Panda. Have a nice night.
kbye

FML

AH. I haven't blogged in forever.
Pretty much all through spring break and the week after it.

you haven't missed anything.
trust me
just a bunch of stupid ABC family prom drama and all that that entails.

gag me with a spoon.


I want to say so much more. But I'm sure if I even tried to sum the past two very lame weeks up (you know how I talk) I'd somewhere in there collapse with exhaustion.


sorry for the shortness.

kbye

And here I sit... again.

Another uneventful Friday night.

In the daylight hours:
I went to school.
Had a light (hah) conversation with the lunch table about abortion. (Those kinds of things never go well.)
Came home from school.
Went to Wilson Morgan with Justine.
Walked through a lot of mud and water again (we can never seem to stay on the trail there).
Came home.
Listened to yet another very uninteresting lecture from my mother.
Went to chick-fil-a.
Came home.



In the later hours of the day:
I Watched a bit of a move on TV, and talked to Lauren on the phone.
Swept.
Mopped.
Dusted.
Washed my sheets.
Gave my cat a bath (it was unpleasant for both of us)
Cleaned my bathroom.
Vacuumed.
Washed dishes
(like I said before, I like to clean.)
Then reorganized some things in the garage.
Showered.
now I’m here.



I think tomorrow I’ll try out my not so new easel that I got the other day and hang out with Lauren.

We’ll see how it goes.

kbye

It's chapstick, chapped lips and things like chemistry.

Nothing too major to report.

I went to chemistry tutoring today. Nothing.
Nothing at all.
I always walk out of there feeling ten times more defeated than I did walking in.


Next week should be good though, it doesn't actually count as a regular week.
And then SPRING BREAK!

THANK GOD


I should be writing an essay right now about why I would be a good academic tutor.
I better get to it.


kbye

lost and found

So…
After pulling up into my driveway and running to my front porch (with Lauren and Justine right behind me) I discovered a large blue and white, maybe four or five foot tall, trophy. And a note that says “Courtney is #1.” It’s from the year 2000 and it is for first place in some sort of karate competition.



I don’t really know what else to say about the matter…
Other than maybe thank you to the people who decided I was number one and deserved a five foot trophy.



I must say, I feel kind of special.





(smooth andrea, sarah, and garrett.)


(kbye)

Who needs to plan their future anyway?

I say this because, well it’s good ol’ next years schedule time again. Although good ol’ next years schedule time is here earlier that last years. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I do not feel like thinking about my future right now.

As usual, my day was uneventful. And leaves me with nothing important to talk about.

Lauren came over today to help me with my dreaded chemistry. We went to Zaxby’s and ate. And then back to my house where I made the promised muffins (the main reason she came over). There are these one dollar a bag blueberry muffins from Dollar General that Lauren and I make on random occasions. I’m pretty sure throughout the last few years her and I have cleared at least a hundred or more of those little bags.The muffins are incredibly delicious.

And well, after Zaxby’s and the muffins. We were left with like 15 minutes for chemistry. Even with the little time, I did (somewhat) clear an entire chemistry problem by myself! It doesn’t sound like much, but it’s more than I was accomplishing before. (no one quite comprehends how much I DON’T understand about this subject except for maybe the people to the left and right of me in class)


and then… I watched TV and did my history homework (a subject I love AND understand).
math and science fail me.
english and history do not.


Well….
Once again, nothing.
Nothing to talk about other than school.
Which, unfortunately, consumes most --- if not all of my life.

kbye

“Dude, the cyanide and razor blades are in the glove box, help yourself.”

I don’t really have anything to talk about forreal.

I just feel like posting a blog.

So.
Today was… unproductive:

School
Books-a-million
Home
Cowboys
Home


Due to some of the days events I’ve come to the conclusion that I should not be allowed to talk to anyone who is not aware of the fact or anyone that has not been forewarned that I am chronically awkward.

I’ll elaborate on that more later.
I was just told by my mother that it was 10:30pm on a school night (it is actually 10:25pm, I hate rounded times) and that I should get off.

kbye

“In the course of a life time, what does it matter?”

Not too long ago I found that quote.
I had written it down from a book I read in middle school.
I’d completely forgotten about the quote, until about a month or so ago when I found it.


Ever since I rediscovered the amazingness of that quote, I cannot keep from thinking about it.
I hear so many people stressing and worrying about so many mundane and unimportant things, and it makes me sick.
I’m so tired of people just wasting away, looking for the next thing to keep them happy. With nothing in there life having meaning, or substance.
I mean, come on people.
In the course of a life time, what does it really matter?
Most of it doesn’t matter, not at all.
For now maybe it does.
But when I look back at my life I don’t want to think “I just wasted so much of my time.” Time is a precious thing, as you all know. We only have so much, and once it’s gone, there’s no getting it back.
I catch myself saying things like “this is a waste of my time” in a somewhat joking manner.
But sometimes, it isn’t a joking matter at all.
So much time is wasted, it seems like no one knows what actually matters any more.


And I’m not saying every single second of every single day you should constantly worry about wasting your time, or what is going to matter in the long run. But think about it.


Don’t get so caught up in stupid things that in the course of your life time it is not going to matter at all. That’s basically what I’ve been trying to say though all of this.





Maybe I’m completely out on a limb here and all alone in these thoughts, but I’d thought I’d share them.
And hope I don’t end up looking like a total idiot.


yeah
kbye

Title Unknown?

Okay, so…
I was watching this old slide show from our India trip, and well, one of the songs I put in the slide show about two years ago started playing...

And I’ve listened to the song maybe a million times since I put it into the slide show. But when the slide show started playing and I saw all those pictures with all those people and started remembering all the amazing memories of the trip I was like slapped in the face with nostalgia/love/homesickness/awesomeness/I-HAVE TO-GET-BACK-TO-INDIA-ness. So, I started listening to the song that I know by heart over and over and over all day today… and well. I want to share the lyrics to whoever reads this…

(If you’ve spent any length of time around me you’ve probably heard or read the lyrics to this song before, but oh well. )



Getting Into You by Relient K

When I made up my mind
And my heart along with that
To live not for myself
But yet for God, somebody said
Do you know what you are getting yourself into?

When I finally ironed out
All of my priorities
And asked God to remove the doubt
That makes me so unsure of these
Things I ask myself, I ask myself
Do you know what you are getting yourself into?

[Chorus]
I'm getting into you
Because you got to me, in a way words can't describe
I'm getting into you
Because I've got to be
You're essential to survive
I'm going to love you with my life

When he looked at me and said
I kind of view you as a son
And for one second our eyes met
And I met that with a question
Do you know what you are getting yourself into?

[Chorus]

I've been a liar and I'll never amount to
The kind of person you deserve to worship you
You say you will not dwell on what I did but rather what I do you say
I love you and that's what you are getting yourself into

[Chorus]

He said, I love you and that's what you are getting yourself into




(So I’ve kind of been in love with this band since I was 11, and I‘m not tired of their music yet.)



(Andrea says I shouldn't use so many parentheses)
(I'll see what I can do)
(kbye)

A very long, very detailed account of my first day being grounded.

I put this picture up for no apparent reason.











THIS IS A LOT PREPARE YOURSELF. (I am not a person of few words)

Well, my first official twenty fours of being grounded went better than I thought they would, I guess you could say.Partly because either my mom does not understand the full meaning of being “grounded” or only “grounded” me because somewhere in the parental law book you MUST ground your child if they fail a class no matter what the circumstances may be. Or maybe it’s a combination of both?



Anyways.
I started the day off with quality time well spent with my cat. (who shall remain unnamed due to the fact that I named her when I was six. Lets just say the word “baby“ is involved…) All the cool kids these days spend time with their furry pet and watch sponge bob on Saturday mornings. I know, don’t be too envious. And then I felt kind of like a tub of lard, and thought I should go run. I called Garrett but for reasons unknown he did not answer his phone. And then I called Justine. To see if one of the two would like to join me in my quest to feel not like a tub of lard. And so, I went and picked up Justine interrupting her tedious job of coloring in her Pirates of the Caribbean coloring book (and waited for her to find her other shoe, that ended up being in the corner of her room under some article of clothing. )


We eventually made it to Wilson Morgan Park, and ran a little in the cold and mist. We made it half way or so around the track before running seized to hold our attention. We walked down toward the water (with only minor difficulty, I got a thorn in my thumb) and then contemplated and plotted how to jump over the big concrete wall, but decided to save that task for a later date. We made our way back to the trail (with Justine only managing to slide down a small mud slope). And then came the major part of the mornings events.



We followed the trail a bit, and ran through a few puddles. And then thought we’d try to get to a “island” type thing jutting out into the pond. We did not make it to the “island type thing”.



I thought I could make a jump from the area with the trail, to the next area that I think is specifically designed to keep you from getting to the “island type thing”. So basically I am trying to jump from one mound of dirt to the next with a ditch filled with water (deeper water than normal because of all the recent rain) in between me and the other mound. The mound of dirt I was jumping from was down hill and I chickened out of a few anticipated running jumps before I actually attempted to hurl myself across the (actually not really that wide) wide stream of water. It did not go well.



I ended up sliding up hill in the mud. On my face.



Not a very pleasant experience.



Instinctively I had my hands out in front of me to catch myself. But with no surprise they didn’t really help much. What I believe actually stopped me from continuing to slide up hill was a rock. A rock that stopped me from sliding up hill by being conveniently located right in the direct path of my head. So, I pretty much was sliding uphill in the mud on my head, until my head slammed into a rock and stopped me.



Also, not a very pleasant experience.



We laughed a lot. And I ended up with minor injuries to my hands, wrist, head (mainly just an ache), and clothing.



AND THEN.



Justine thought she should give it a shot.She had a few canceled running jumps, like myself. But finally went for it. Her fall was much more graceful I must say. She was soaring pretty well for about two seconds and then her foot grazed the water, and then the edge of the stream which eventually sent her plummeting into the landing strip that I cleared for her earlier. Right before finally settling into the ground she did a mid air twist that prevented her from landing face down and is ultimately the better way to land-not face down. Only minor injuries there too, she twisted her knee funny (I think she used that leg for the pivot point of the mid air twist, and consequently it suffered minor injuries)… she walked away with mud and rain damage to her clothing (like I said, not face first was the better way to land).


We were too tired and injured to attempt a jump back (our dreams of going to the “island type thingy” were forgotten after we realized I was bleeding). So I just walked right through the stream, soaking my shoes the rest of the way. Justine followed.



And then we laughed a lot more.


We ran through a few more pulldes, and got in the car. We stopped by Andrea’s to show Andrea and Sarah our lovely soaked and mudded clothing (and my bleeding hands) and to tell them the story.We laughed a lot, and then Justine and I both went home.









Round two of my not as boring as I thought it would be first twenty four hours of my being grounded.
Came home, told my mom what happened.
Made some food, watched TV
Said bye to my mom (she was going to my Great Great Aunt Frances’ house (the one who died) to help Betty (Frances’ daughter) with some stuff, and to just… help Betty out, and keep her from having to do that alone.
Showered.
Got ready.
Lauren came over.
Went to Walgreen’s to get a phone card.
Went to Chick-fil-a to grub.
Sat and talked to Lauren.
Went home to blow out a candle I accidentally left going.
Got back out and went to Holly Wood Video and got the movies Sex Drive and Driving Lessons (we weren’t intending to go with a driving theme, but we did. Both were excellent movies)



Also-side note: apparently hanging out with Lauren IS considered acceptable grounded behavior. But going to Wal-Mart to buy paint is not. (my mom actually suggested I hang out with Lauren after she told me I could not go to Wal-Mart to buy more paint so I could paint while being grounded.) Odd? Lauren’s mother also felt the same way.



Watched Sex Drive (laughed a lot)
I embarrassed myself when Betty and my mom got back because I could not fit a ring that was Frances’ on my ring finger, but now wear it on my pinkie (I have big meaty claws, man hands)
Lauren went home to eat
I went and got my mom a milkshake,
went to star bucks to get myself some coffee.
Ran into Robert.
Made an idiot out of myself with my phone and the money and the lady behind the counter.
Ran into Tre’.
He gave me a book I cannot wait to read.
Drove home.
Manage to spill about half of my moms milkshake into the center consol of my jeep.
Cleaned that out.
Lauren came back over.
We watched Driving Lessons.
She went home
My mom preformed a minor surgery on my hands that still had dirt embedded in them.
I folded some clothes.
I sat down at the computer.
I’ve been here ever since.



I have said too much.
Have a nice… life or whatever.



kbye

So maybe you should know me?

I feel compelled to let you (the two people who will actually read this, who already know me, Gabby and Lauren) know a little about me, and my life. I don’t know if this is traditionally done in the whole blog world (this is my fist time to blog, for real) but who needs tradition anyway. And from the little I have gathered about this whole thing, it doesn’t really matter.

Disclaimer: I cannot spell. Also, my grammar skills are lacking, in a serious way. I’m sure I could work on both and make it look like I know what I am doing, but I’m too lazy. And I often cannot convey what I am trying to say very well, I’m not very… smooth or graceful with my words. I also don’t normally like to write and have people read it (right! so why don't you get a blog?!) I regularly cannot come up with the word I need to describe how I feel, when in person, I often use hand gestures and sound effects to get my point across the best I can. (And it also appears I only notice things that are wrong with me.)


Well…
I have very unnatural looking natural curly hair (hints the name “McCurly“)I enjoy reading. The less real world the better.
I talk a lot sometimes (most of the time).
I also (sometimes) mumble and talk too fast, and I think Lauren is one of the only people who understands what I am saying.
I am a Christian, despite my many mishaps and screw ups.
I also enjoy music, but not in the way that all I can ever do is talk about music, and all the music I know, and all the music you should know. (music is not your life, get over it. You should also be slapped.)
I try not to jump to conclusions about people, or be too judgmental (I do not always keep this statement true, but for the most part I try to.)( I try to just assume everyone is nice and friendly until proven otherwise.) (but I am often proven otherwise)
.I say “often” often.
I’m not a good person to watch TV (or any form of TV such as movies) with due to the fact that I always have something to say about the show/movie every ten seconds.
I’ve been told on many occasions that I’m awkward, and that I make most conversations and situations awkward. I guess you could just say I am overall an awkward person.
I change my mind frequently-or better yet-I’m indecisive. I can never really pick anything for sure, either I don’t know what I want or I don’t care enough to pick something.
I'm cheesy.
I talk to myself all the time.
I’m very organized.
I actually enjoy cleaning.
I make mental list for everything, and always say them out loud when say for instance, I walk out the door, or pack my lunch. (so I don’t forget things)
I also make fun of myself a lot. (Its not so much a confidence issue as it is a way to vent my agitation I sometimes feel toward myself for saying or doing something stupid. Which is often. Psychoanalyze that as much as you would like. And also because when you make fun of yourself people laugh, not so much at you as it is with you.) ( I swear I do not hate or think little of myself constantly.)
I want to travel, live/visit/stay anywhere and everywhere. (I went to India my freshman year, and well, I had always wanted to travel before, and then after the trip… all I can do is pick out places I want to go next.)
I’ll have to quote what Gabby The Great once said to me during one of the many discussion at the art table. We were all having everyone tell each other things they had observed about each other in the short time we had spent together. Gabby said something along the lines of this about me : “You care about what people think of you, but not to the extent that you are going to change who you really are.” (I thought that was very clever, and it has stuck with me)
I think you can tell a lot about a person by their favorite color and also by what style/type of car they drive, (for reasons unknown) so do what you can with that.
I have no favorite color, I cannot pick one. I guess you could say I like most of them.
I drive (very dangerously) a large red jeep that I have recently renamed The Mayflower. (original name: Chandler)
I stay in a bubble of oblivion sometimes, I never pay enough attention to the world going on around me.
I try speak my mind for the most part, and I like people who will do the same.
I like people (sometimes), and I like to spend time with people (sometimes).
I have never written this much about myself, ever.
I have some of THE coolest friends and people in my life, and would not be able to go on without them.


This is just the beginning of the madness, you don’t even know.


kbye

Sometimes she's kinda like my best friend :)

Kourtknee pm [8:53 PM]: alphabet war (see who can type the alphabet fastest.)
Kourtknee pm [8:53 PM]: 5
Kourtknee pm [8:53 PM]: 4
Kourtknee pm [8:53 PM]: 3
Kourtknee pm [8:53 PM]: 2
Kourtknee pm [8:53 PM]: 1.... GO!
Kourtknee pm [8:53 PM]: abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
Kourtknee pm [8:53 PM]: I win.
LaurenisFat92 [8:54 PM]: huh?
Kourtknee pm [8:54 PM]: alphabet war
LaurenisFat92 [8:54 PM]: I was totally off doing something else that entire time
Kourtknee pm [8:54 PM]: lame
Kourtknee pm [8:54 PM]: okay ...redo
Kourtknee pm [8:54 PM]: I'll be like 5
Kourtknee pm [8:54 PM]: and then you say 4
Kourtknee pm [8:54 PM]: and then after whoever says 1
Kourtknee pm [8:54 PM]: we start
Kourtknee pm [8:54 PM]: 5
LaurenisFat92 [8:54 PM]: but I dont wanna
Kourtknee pm [8:55 PM]: you suck
Kourtknee pm [8:55 PM]: 5
LaurenisFat92 [8:55 PM]: fug you
Kourtknee pm [8:55 PM]: fug you
Kourtknee pm [8:55 PM]: 5
LaurenisFat92 [8:55 PM]: 67
Kourtknee pm [8:55 PM]: 5
Kourtknee pm [8:55 PM]: fug you
Kourtknee pm [8:55 PM]: Myspace bulletin?
LaurenisFat92 [8:55 PM]: if you wish
Kourtknee pm [8:56 PM]: okay
Kourtknee pm [8:56 PM]: it's settled.
Kourtknee pm [8:59 PM]: 5
LaurenisFat92 [8:59 PM]: must you?
Kourtknee pm [9:00 PM]: fug you

Oh, the joys of being a failure.

So.

I thought I’d give this whole blog thing a shot.
ALTHOUGH
Right now is most likely not a good time to “give this blog thing a shot” seeing as I am extremely angry at this point in time. (I failed chemistry, and screwed up pretty big time in Algebra,) and I am now paying the consequences, for the next two weeks.

In my mind, I do not understand how being grounded for grades makes since. I mean if I stole a car, or partied a little too hard and Madre found out, that would be one thing. I can see how being grounded and trapped at home would make since then. But being grounded for grades, when you’re someone like me, I find is exceedingly STUPID. SHE KNOWS I’ve had a tough last ( I don’t even really keep count anymore, lets just go with two months.) What with me being sick twice, my great great aunt (even with the distant relevance I was still very close to) dying, my constant struggle with chemistry (which turned out to be a pointless effort after all), the crap face people surrounding me, and the pretty much daily struggle that is life in high school. So the adequate punishment for me failing is to take away time spent with people I actually like being around? The people that keep me from going mad. I DO understand that punishment or maybe more time spent that is dedicated to chemistry is totally called for here, but to be forced against your will to be stuck in the house with the last person you would want to be stuck in a house with, well…. that’s just sick. But whatever, parents are right even if they are wrong I have discovered. Its whatever.
I’m used to it.
I’m just another typical pissed off teenager. Pissed because they have been told once again that they were wrong.


I am normally not this angry, and not this pessimistic. (okay so the last statement is not completely true.)


kbye